- Dan: You should become a car salesman or something...
- Me: Listen, I can offer you a great timeshare in communist china for only 159.
- Dan: Nah, it should be North Korea.
- Me: No, that's our 259 package.
- Dan: How is North Korea more expensive?
- Me: There's no smog.
Me and Dan at Lunch...
I find much irony in the fact that lately I go to sleep so that I can escape my dreams.
Those aspirations…everything I want while I’m awake. Well, when I’m asleep, they vanish. Of course not completely. I may still subconsciously yearn. But for a few short hours, I am free. Free from the pain not having them brings me while I’m awake. Free from the emotions that tug and effect what I may do in reality. This may sound depressing, but…its a good feeling.
umm:
For the first time the statement they say just after marrying people is 100% accurate. You know, the one where they say Mr. and Mrs. Guys Name Here Last Name HereXD(via infinitebutterflies)
OMGOMGOMG ROFL! hahahahah!
“I am proud to present for the first time to the public…Mr. and Mrs. Taylor Lautner.”



